A stanza from famous Manku Timmana Kagga in Kannada means:

In the dark of the night, what is the use of countless stars glittering at the distant sky? A pedestrian gets his solace when he sees the a dimly lit house close-by! Forget the God at a distance, many a times we look for the closeness of the company of another human!

World is built on the foundation of love, on the non-duality emerging out of love. Mother -children, husband-wife, brothers and sisters, friends and acquaintances, relations.. if these links are lost, the world can’t resist crumbling even for a minute!

It is said, Maharshi Narada asked God once, “destroy the sense of bonding between living beings; it is the root of all ills!” God said “So be it!” Narada visits earth again to see the effect of the new boon. He was in for a shock! Mother was not feeding her newborn! Father didn’t take responsibility for the food, clothing and education of his children! There was no one to take member of a family to doctors when he is unwell! No one was doing anything for the good of anyone! World has lost its sheen; there was no laughter or joy in the entire world! This was the effect of absence of the sense of bonding among earth’s beings!! Narada rushed to the Lord again seeking to return the boon to its giver!

Non-duality between being and being is equally important for life on earth; just as non-duality between self and Supreme Self is vital for deliverance! Bonding is the reason why lives on earth carry on with their life doing good to others. It is a different matter that there are people, one in an era and one on earth who escape from the spell of bondage and attain salvation; rest of the world is totally dependent on the bondage between lives.

Now let’s ponder, what if a custom allows breaking the unbreakable bondage of husband and wife on the drop of a hat?  What if the rule of law too nods in consent? It is in this background that we give much importance to the recent judgment by the Apex Court in the matter of triple talaq. The judgment advocates a policy of “forgive and forget”; not “fight till the finish”!

Marriage – Indian Perspective:

Marriage is called as “lagna” in Sanskrit; ‘lagna’ means ‘bond’ – ‘unbreakable bond’!

  •        When the bonding is between bodies, it is limited to youthful life only;
  •        When the bonding goes a step further and when the minds meet, the bondage lasts the lifetime; because beauty is as long as youthfulness lasts, mind lasts till for lifetime;
  •        When the “Aathma” or souls are bound, the bonding goes beyond life, it outlives even death because “Aathma” never dies! Among husband and wife whoever dies first, he will await for the other in after-life. Ramayana has declared that when a daughter is given in marriage as per the customs, she remains the wife even after death, even in the other world.

इह लोके च पितृभि: या स्त्री यस्य महामते।

अद्भिर्दत्ता स्वधर्मेण प्रेत्यभावेपि तस्य सा।।

-SriRamaayana Ayodhya/29/17-18

Where is the bonding that outlives mortal life on earth? Where is the mirage of bonding which crumbles by sheer utterance of the word ‘talaq’ three times?

Moment of rage; life in ruin!

There is no limit for the damage done by the moments of rage in our life! Man speaks and does wrong things when the sudden rush of anxiety and anger breach the banks of restraint and his sense of right and wrong. Men of wisdom have prescribed strict abstention from speaking or doing anything while anger is ruling us.  Under such circumastances, it is not acceptable if customs – laws encourage vitiating the relationships of permanent nature under the influence of momentary anxiety.

Marriage Act doesn’t provide for easy separation..

  •        Laws of the land give clear instructions to courts to try everything possible to unite the estranged husband and wife..

Section 23(2) of Hindu Marriages Act: Before proceeding to grant any relief under this Act, it shall be the duty of the Court in the first instance, in every case where it is possible so to do consistently with the nature and circumstances of the case, to make endeavor to bring about a reconciliation between the parties:

* Application for divorce can not be filed within one year of marriage at all!

Section 14(1): Notwithstanding anything contained in this Act, it shall not be competent for any Court to entertain any petition for dissolution of Marriage by a decree of divorce , unless at the date of the presentation of the petition one year has elapsed since the date of the marriage.

* In addition, as per the law nothing can be done for the first six months after the application is filed for divorce. Even the otherwise stoic heart of law has shown human emotions when it comes to the question of marriage and divorce! The approach seems to be to allow the fighting couple to patch-up and live happily; to prevent grave damage being caused as a result of a fit of rage!

One more thing. It is very dangerous for the health of the society to allow changing of wife at will very easily! “My wife today could be the wife of someone else tomorrow; someone’s wife today could be my wife tomorrow” – this mentality befits only the demons! We can call it a “derailment”. We can’t call it an “arrangement”. ‘Sati’ (used to indicate ‘wife’ in Sanskrit) word itself means someone who is there for life!

Last word: Once married, wife cannot be changed for life in the same way one cannot change his mother once born! This is Dharma! This is custom! This is bonding of hearts! If this becomes bonding by law too, life can become ‘advaita’, the philosophy of nonduality!

Nonduality of jiva (being) and deva (God) is mukti (liberation); nonduality of a being and another being is life!


Translation of SriSri RaghaveshwaraBharati MahaSwamiji’s Loka~Lekha Kannada blog.

Read original article here : ಅದ್ವೈತಕ್ಕಿರಲಿ ಒತ್ತು, ತಲಾಖ್~ತ್ರಿವಳಿಗಲ್ಲ!

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